


My Only Wish This Year

by joneinyourarea



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: I'm not sorry for this, M/M, aka the ten days of christmas fic i wrote, hpoefully this isn't trash, thank britney spears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-20 18:08:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17027511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joneinyourarea/pseuds/joneinyourarea
Summary: jisung's got one wish for christmas, can it be fulfilled?





	1. my only wish

**15.12.08**

(note, the day of the month comes first it'll be like that for each date)  
-  
_I want someone to love me_

Jisung sits by the fireplace, holding hot chocolate in his freezing hands, pikachu pajamas swallowing him whole. His parents pad into the room, festive Christmas socks clashing with their matching sweaters.

He cringes at the way his parents look, Jeans (And joggers for his dad) and ugly Christmas sweaters do not go with socks that have the grinch on them. But it's the Christmas spirit that matters to him, not the fact that the Christmas hat his mother shoved on his head is too small to fit him since it was his from two years ago (when his head was smaller and so was he).

Watching his parents has always made him feel at home, safe. Even when it was watching them tuck him in when he was six, helping him ride his bike (falling and injuring his knee when he saw them kiss) when he was seven, or even plugging in that nightlight and kissing him goodnight just a few days ago.

Jisung really loved his parents and the love they shared for each other, and he wished he'd find the perfect girl for him just like they found each other. He knew that he'd get it one day, but his eight year old brain couldn't seem to process that.

So when his parents came in with the parchment paper and a pen, he knew what it was time for.

'Jisung ah, we're sorry we're so late into the month with this'

'We're really sorry sweetie, but come on! Better late than never right!'

'Your moms right, come on over here and write your letter to Santa'

'Coming!'

He almost spills his half empty cup of hot chocolate, catching himself and carefully setting it on the coffee table before he rushes up and barely makes it into the seat at the kitchen table. He can hear his parents chuckling, but he doesn't care. They laugh even more when he makes grabby hands for the pen and paper, but hand it over anyway.

 _Someone to love me someone to hold_.

He thinks of exactly what he wants to say before he writes out his letter because he only gets one shot at this, one opportunity, and he cannot mess up. He looks up, concentrating on what to write when he catches his parents hugging from the corner of his eyes. He looks up just in time to catch their quick peck before he yanks his head back down in the direction of the parchment paper, cheeks fuming from embarrassment and a tinge of excitement?

_Dear Santa,_

_I know exactly what I want this year!! I just turned eight in September, but I know I've been a good boy! I've been so good all year Santa, I even helped the minho kid (he's ten) pick up his stuff when he dropped it!_

_Maybe we can be friends? Oh, I'm getting off track- that wasn't my wish Santa. My wish this year isn't big like it was all those other years, I won't wish for a big toy truck or for that big and new nerf gun or even for that new play station 3!!_

_That's how good of a boy I am! I promise I won't ask for anything too big!_

_This year I just want to find someone to like me like mommy and daddy like each other, that's not too big is it? I don't think so! I just want a special friend like mommy and daddy have._

_Sincerely,_  
_The goodest boy jisung_


	2. santa, can you hear me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading this if you did!

**16.12.09**

_last night i took a walk in the snow_

Jisung walks around outside his house, jacket zipped up and blue beanie covering his already messy hair. he comes to a stop and plops down in the grass, looking up at the sky hoping for snow. it's tradition after all, going into town on the first snow and gulping down snow cones like it was summer even though he'd probably get cold shortly after.

when he sees little flurries he rushes inside and calls excitedly for his parents, dragging them to the windows when they say they can't believe it's already snowing. they roll their eyes and move to put their shoes on, jisung running into his room and wrapping himself up extra warm before he grabs his piggy bank and pulls out two $5 bills. he stuffs them in his pocket and follows his parents out the house.

they walk quickly to the snow cone shop, standing in the (short) line and waiting to buy snow cones. jisung bundles closer, trying to warm himself up as he watches the flurries float quickly  past his face. 

when he finally orders his cherry snow cone and steps to the side (waiting for his parents to pay) he overhears mean words coming from somewhere. when he looks up he sees a boy on the ground, and three other boys surrounding him and smashing his snow cone in his face. they used big words like faggot and homo and although jisung didn't know what those words meant, he could catch the tone they were using and it wasn't nice. he didn't like it one bit.

the boys walk away laughing and the other boy gets off the ground and wipes his snow cone off his face quick enough to tell his mother that he'd dropped it.

'sweetie, mommy can't buy you another one-'

'i know mommy, it's okay'

the boy's voice shook, lip quivering as he stands and fumbles with the ends of his sleeves. jisung can't take it anymore, he marches up to the snow cone lady and asks her what that boy, minho, had ordered. when he got the answer he demanded for her to make another of that flavour and he pulled out a five from his pocket and slammed it on the counter.

he walked over to minho shyly, tiptoeing gently in order not to scare him. when he was within arms reach he gently tapped him on the shoulder, thrusting the snow cone in his face a little too excitedly. the boy didn't mind though, looking past the extended snow cone to study jisung's face. he was starting to become a little restless.

the boy snapped out of whatever trance he was in when his mother told him to take the snow cone and say thank you, which he did. he got a little teary eyed, jisung moved closer and wiped his tears away quickly before giving him a hug and whispering that he'd see him around.

_couples holding hands, places to go_

his parents praise him when they walk out of the store hand in hand, telling him that he was such a good boy and that they were so proud of him, stopping by a craft store and saying that he was good enough to write a second letter to santa.

_dear santa,_

_i've been a really good boy this year! today i even helped a boy named minho who was being bullied. they called him a faggot and pushed him to the ground and that wasn't right. it's the same boy i helped last year. i asked for someone to love me santa, this year i hope you give me someone to love like mommy and daddy love each other instead of giving me minho._

_he's a nice boy and i think we'll be good friends santa, but i want someone to love me the way that mommy does to daddy and minho can't be the mommy because he's not a girl. so please santa, this year i'm begging, please give me a nice prettyy girl to love me._

_love always,_

_the goodest boy jisung_


	3. I have been so good this year

**17.12.10**

_cause i heard that you're coming to town_

jisung wakes up to frantic moving coming from his parents and opens his eyes to be met with minho and his mother. he's confused because he doesn't know them very well, but he does know that minho's mother came rushing out begging them to take her last $5 because jisung bought minho another snow cone. 

he doesn't know what's going on, but suddenly twelve year old minho is trudging to the couch shyly, minho's mother frantically leaving and thanking his mother. he sits up on the couch, giving minho room to sit down and make himself comfortable. he can smell food and knows that his father is the one cooking, his mother too busy opening the door and doing the laundry, at least that's what the basket in her hand implies.

jisung pats the couch softly, telling minho it's okay to sit with him. minho complies, cheeks fuming as he takes his coat off and slides onto the couch with an almost silent hi. he scoots closer and offers minho to share his blanket, the older boy shyly scooting closer and eventually cuddling close to jisung.

they were  in the middle of watching the polar express (the grinch long finished and in the past) when jisung feels a light weight on his shoulder. he turns to realize that minho had fallen asleep and cuddled closer. he smiled and pushed the hair out of the older's eyes, snuggling up and falling asleep. jisung's awoken by a quiet whimper, quickly registering that it was the boy next to him. he opens his eyes and looks up at minho, pulling him close and hugging him tight before falling back to sleep.

_santa, can you hear me?_

jisung wakes up when the door bell rings, his mother shouting a quick 'coming' and rushing to open it. he looks to his left and sees that the older is still sleeping peacefully so he runs his hands through his hair gently. 

when minho's mom walks through the door and tries to wake minho up, jisung stops her in her tracks, quietly looking to his parents and asking if minho can stay over. he begs for their approval, tears threatening to spill, but when he sees his parents glance at minho's mother he knows the answer's got to be a no.

'honey, i don't think she traveled all this way just to go home without him'

'but mom, he's my friend! i wanna hang out longer!'

'your mother's right, he should go home and rest up, maybe tomorrow okay? he's coming back over when you get out of school'

'he is?'

'yes, we're watching him while his mom goes to work honey.'

jisung wakes minho up, the elder snuggling closer and begging for five more minutes.

'hyung, you gotta go home'

minho's eyes open and he turns to see jisung looking at him (fondly possibly, but maybe he's just getting ahead of himself- jisung wants a pretty girl to fall in love with) and turns away flushing. he looks up and finds his mother motioning for him to get up and get ready. he can see jisung's parents giving him looks of affection too as he walks out the door, thanking jisung's parents and waving a little to femininely at jisung (fluttering his eye lashes and smiling just a little too widely, perhaps he was falling for the straight boy).

jisung waves excitedly, hoping his parents were right and that he'd get to see minho the next day. he waits for his parents to leave the room to pull out his letter making kit for santa and finding the lightest pink paper, the one that reminds him of minho's flustered cheeks, and thinks of what to write.

when he finally finds his words he pulls out his pink pen and takes the cap off, putting it to the paper and writing away.

_dear santa,_

_i don't know if you read any of my messages i send to you, but can you please read this one for me. i want two things this year and i've been a really good boy so i know two things won't be too hard for you, right?_

_the first thing is what i've been wishing for recently. i want someone to like me like mom and dad like each other._

_and secondly, i want minho hyung to be my friend and maybe kiss me like dad kisses mom? i don't know too much about kissing but mom and dad kiss each other and they're really close friends so like minho kissing me would mean we're really good friends, right?_

_i don't know i might be overthinking this santa, I just want minho to be my friend!_

_sincerely,_

_the goodest boy jisung_


	4. and all i want is one thing

**18.12.11**

_seems like everyone but me is in love_

jisung and minho pace around jisung's room, playing games and waiting for dinner to be served. jisung pulls minho on the bed so they can watch tv, the familiar sound of pokemon playing in the background and drowning out the sounds of their light giggles.

minho's tense throughout the show, but jisung feels like he's trying to hide it. he may be only eleven but he knows when his best friend is trying to hide something from him.

'hyung?'

'ji?'

'what's wrong'

'hm, oh- nothing-'

'don't pull that with me, i know something's wrong.'

'i- my mom's lost her house'

'oh, hyung- i'm so sorry'

minho wipes his tears and smiles, shrugging off any emotion he'd had before for two seconds before his face falls again and his head lands in his hands. jisung can hear his voice cracking and his heart breaks.

'i don't know what to do ji'

'we can figure this out'

'where are we going to go? we don't have a house'

'where have you been staying?'

'in my mom's car'

'minho hyung, that's-'

'what else can i do? she already works two jobs ji. she's over working herself and i'm only thirteen i can't get a job'

jisung hugs minho, rubbing circles on his back, trying to soothe him and calm him even a little bit. he pulls minho into his lap, swaying them back and forth until he hears minho's giggles again and starts to loosen his grip on the elder. he sees minho smile and feels minho's legs wrap around his waist.

jisung's frozen, he doesn't know what to do because minho's really close to him and he's smiling and it looks really.. pretty? it's not like his crushes smile, but it's almost as bright. he can see a light hue grazing minho's cheekbones, and he begins to wonder why, but then he feels minho's lips on his cheek.

it's only for a split second, barely skin to skin contact, but jisung gasps anyway and lets his hand fly up to the spot minho kissed. he looks up at minho, blush creeping up his neck, and asks minho why he'd done that; he only received a shy smile in return and a quiet 'thank you' for helping him stop crying. 

jisung's parents barge through the doors, and surround minho; they pull him into hugs and tell him everything will be okay and that this situation will be figured out.

santa, can you hear me?

his parents pull him aside when minho's mother is finally finished talking to them, and they have a serious look on their faces. he's scared, overly so and he just wants minho to come comfort him, but now's not really the time to go looking for minho when he could possibly be getting in trouble.

'what you did up there was really sweet jisungie'

'your father and i are very proud of you, i hope you know that'

'and we've talked to minho's mother, but we need your approval before we set anything in stone'

'wait, why do you need my approval'

'honey, how do you feel about minho becoming your roommate?'

jisung turns to look at minho who's staring out the window, eyes roaming frantically and leg bouncing rhythmically and quickly. he would give the world to see his friend's smile, even if that meant sharing a room. minho turns and locks eyes with him, a small smile forming on his plump lips. he stares a little too closely at minho's lips to be considered friendly before he shakes his head of those, those- thoughts.

kissing minho was definitely not a thought to keep in mind when he could possibly become a roommate anyway, pfft. kissing minho doesn't even sound remotely appealing-

'would we have to share a bed?'

'what, jisung, no! we can buy him one'

'no'

'you don't want to be his roommate'

'oh god yes i do, don't waste your money on a bed- i'm sure minho hyung won't mind cuddling, will you hyung?'

'hm?'

'you won't mind cuddling, will you?'

'no, of course not ji-'

'it's settled, we share one bed and he gets half of everything in the room'

'jisung, you're such a good boy-'

minho's mother cuts in, eyes teary and on the verge of crying (her voice quivers with the words she speaks).

'honey, it's really okay, we don't want to invade your personal-'

'mrs. lee, please let my parents welcome you.'

'but minho-'

'will be my roommate, we'll have loads of fun and stick to our bed time, we promise'

'but i don't want to burden-'

'minju, we promise it's no burden, you're welcome here as long as you wish to stay'

_dear santa,_

_i know you're not real anymore. i saw my parents rip open my letter and stick it in their closet in a box which i presume to be my other letters to santa. it's okay, even if you're real or not, it's really nice to write down my thoughts sometimes. you know?_

_anyway, minho's my roommate now and that's super cool. i think we get along really well, and i'm super excited to call myself his friend and i'm glad he likes me enough to call me his friend._

_my parents say that he likes me more than i could ever imagine, but like? what does that eve mean. and people at school call him a homo and a faggot, but they don't even realize what those words mean, like minho isn't gay, is he?_

_but to keep up with tradition, even though i now know you're fake and my parents know that i wished for love for three years-_

_santa, i want a couple of things this year._

_firstly, i want to find someone that's going to love me like my parents love each other._

_secondly, i want minho's mom to keep this steady paying job and get back on her feet (and if she does, i hope my parents let her continue to stay with us)._

_thirdly, i want minho to continue being my friend._

_and maybe him to kiss me? but like platonically of course- i don't like him like that, he's not sooyoung, he's not pretty like her. but his smile is really nice, and fuller than hers. and the way he pushes up the glasses on the bridge of his nose is quite cute too, and well his little blush is absolutely adorable._

_and yeah, maybe i want him to kiss me on the lips, in a totally platonic way because we're friends? i just want to feel what he tastes like-_

_sincerely,_

_the confused boy jisung (the 'goodest' boy)_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friendos, if you have any questions just ask me and i'll answer


	5. tell me my true love is near

**19.12.12**

_i signed my letter that i sealed with a kiss_

jisung's on his way home from school, letter to santa written and sealed (ready to put on the coffee table like he does every year. he's skipping up the driveway and he notices that there's not a single car that sits in the driveway so his parents aren't home (neither is minho's mom).

he pulls his key out of his pocket, fumbling with the doorknob to check to see if it was locked, but it wasn't so he walked in the house and hung his keys on the key rack. when he closed the door he locked it (just to be sure), quietly walking up the stairs after throwing his book bag on the couch.

when he reached the top of the stairs he could hear soft humming, confirming that minho was home and currently in their shared room. he remained quiet, hoping that he could finally scare the elder and get his revenge. he opens the door quietly and finds minho staring at himself in the mirror and singing to mariah carey in the most adorable way possible.

he spins around, singing his heart out, and freezes when his eyes land on jisung. he didn't know why minho was so afraid, there was nothing wrong with jamming out to mariah carey-

'j-ji, what are you-'

minho looked flustered, heavily so. his cheeks burning almost as brightly as the pink lip gloss minho had on.

_wait- pink lip gloss-_

he gives minho a once over and nearly faints, eyes never being able to leave minho's body. if he had tea, he would have spit it out in shock (not in horror, minho didn't look bad oh god no). minho was standing in the center of the room, scared to look up at jisung (choosing to look at the ground instead).

'you- you weren't supposed to find me like this, i usually sing one song and change- i-'

he's stuttering, face reddening even more with each word he spits out of his mouth. he shifts repeatedly, seemingly uncomfortable with the position he'd found himself in.

'you're not supposed to be home yet-'

he's blinking back tears, trying his hardest not to sob. jisung can tell by the way minho bites his lip a little too harshly, gnawing at the flesh until it bleeds. he's worried, but jisung doesn't know why.

'can we forget this ever happened?'

'hyung, i can't do that'

'but-'

'no, hyung. if this is what you like then you should be able to feel comfortable'

'i-are you sure'

'of course, i for one, think you look stunning'

minho blushes at the compliment, twirling the fabric in his hand and smiling.

'i have more things like this-'

'how on earth do you find these things?'

'i say i'm shopping for a friend'

jisung's amazed. minho's wearing light blue checkered vans, which is quite possibly the only seemingly normal thing he's wearing. he's also wearing a crop top hoodie that reads 'baby girl', a pastel blue skirt and pink thigh high socks. he's breathtaking in jisung's opinion, prettier than sooyoung would ever be, but his parents don't need to know that.

'hyung?'

'yes?'

'friends kiss each other, right?'

'wha-'

'hyung, they do right?'

'ji-'

jisung cuts minho off, pulling him down by the strings on his hoodie and connecting their lips gently. his eyes flutter shut, arms wrapping around minho's waist and pulling him closer. he can hear the hitch in minho's breath, but feels minho wrap his arm around his neck and place one hand in his hair. the kiss is over almost as quickly as it began, both boys jumping apart when minho's mom catches them.

'boys, what are you- minho what are you wearing?'

'mom, i-i can explain, it's not what it looks like'

'honey, if you like wearing things like this in the house, nobody's going to judge you okay? you just have to tell us'

'o-okay'

'but why were you two kissing?'

'mrs. lee, friends kiss all the time, right?'

minho looks at his mother, pleading for her not to speak up and destroy any chances he had of jisung kissing him ever again. she seemed to have gotten the hint (that jisung missed because he was playing with the end of the sleeves on minho's hoodie).

'oh, sure sweetie! friends kiss all the time-'

_i sent it off, it just said this_

jisung asks minho's mom to drive him to the store because she's the only adult home, minho choosing to stay home and shower. he hops in the car, his wallet in tow with all of the money he'd collected from doing chores for six years (which ended up being $1,560 dollars he'd been saving up).

he asks her to drive him to a more feminine store so he could pick out clothes for minho (of course he took a sneak peak at the sizes of his clothes and shoes while minho was in the shower as well as peaking at all of his clothes so he didn't buy repeats).

when they arrive jisung goes wild, walking all throughout the store trying to find the perfect outfit for minho with a 'no' and 'ew, minho wouldn't be caught dead in that fur trap' and 'awe, that would look precious on him'.

three hours and five shops later jisung finally found the perfect outfit for minho. he got him a simple white crop top with some blue tinted thigh highs and white heels. and to top off the look he bought minho the cutest pink pair of overalls, but he wasn't done just yet, he went into the makeup section and bought minho some eyeliners and some eye shadow pallets, sticking a couple of highlighter sets and lipsticks in his little bag too, giving minho what felt like the entire sephora section of the store.

he wasn't finished yet though, he'd only spent about $400 dollars on minho, and that wasn't enough, so back to the store he went. he ended up buying minho a pair of fishnets, a pair of rainbow doc martens shoes, a bunch of headbands and an entire rack of oversized sweaters.

maybe he went all out, spending close to $1,000 on minho, but it was minho and that was all that mattered. he reads over his letter to santa, ripping up his old letter he'd written about finding love and whatnot so he could write a new one when he got home.

_dear santa (aka mom and dad),_

_i have one wish this year. just one. i'm not even going to add the i want to find love to the list because you're both certainly aware of what that wish is and why i want it._

_for christmas this year i want you to know that minho wears skirts. i don't know what other kinds of fun things he has, like does he wear heels if he's confident? i don't know, i just found out like twenty minutes ago, but holy mother of god he looks so precious mom! dad! he looked so precious!_

_this year for christmas i want you to be accepting of that. i want you to accept the fact that he wears girls clothes, it's not weird okay? i know you guys are the nicest parents ever, but i swear to the lord above me, if you ever disrespect minho for the types of clothes he wears i'm disowning you._

_that is all, thanks so much. i love you both._

_sincerely,_

_your 'goodest' boy jisung_


	6. he's all i want

**20.12.13**

_i know exactly what i want this year_

'hyung'

'ji'

'can i ask a favour'

'yeah?'

'can we- can we go outside'

'yeah, just let me-'

'no, i want to go out like this'

'but ji-'

'hyung, please'

'ji i'm in an overall skirt'

'yeah and you're wearing a crop top and some cute glitter shoes that i bought you'

'yeah, but-'

minho looks down, blushing profusely, playing with the ends of his skirt and swaying a little bit.

'but, this is my safe space. what if someone makes fun of me'

'it's alright, we don't have to. go ahead and change hyung! i'll wait for you.'

minho looks up hopefully, a small smile gracing his lips, but then he suddenly pouts.

'wait, i change my mind'

'but hyung-'

'no, i'll go like this'

'you really don't have to'

'no, let's go.'

'are- are you sure?'

'positive, let's go before i change my mind again'

jisung can feel minho tugging on his hand shyly,  urging him to move forward and out of their room. he almost follows the elder, but pulls him back when he realizes minho's not wearing a jacket. he reaches in his closet and pulls out a gray sweater, wrapping it around minho lightly.

'ji, it doesn't go with my outfit!'

'you look fine hyung'

'no, the gray clashes with the pink, i can't go out like this'

'baby you look fine, cmon, let's go'

'b-baby'

'i-i didn't mean to-'

'no, it's okay- you can call me that'

jisung smiles, a light hue gracing his cheeks as he laces their hands together and pulls minho out of the house. they walk down the street hand in hand, minho's skirt catching in the wind and his glittery shoes gleaming from the sunshine. they're headed to the snow cone shop where they first met each other, talking about everything under the sun when minho spots them. he freezes up and immediately tugs jisung back.

'ji, can we go home?'

'hyung?'

'ji, right now'

'yeah, of course. cmon'

they turn around and start to head home, but minho makes eye contact with one of the boys and he stalks over, a stupid smirk gracing his face.

'damn it, they found me'

jisung turns to look at minho, casting a curious glance at the elder and spotting a few tears being shed. he can hear boys snickering and calling out minho's name. he quickly wipes minho's tears, leans up and pecks his lips, and then stands in front of minho.

'move twerp, i want to see minho'

'no'

'he said move'

'and i said no'

'you must not be a good listener'

'and you must not be a smart group'

'he fucking said move'

'and i fucking said no'

minho tugs on the back of his shirt. he looks at minho and notices there are three more boys coming up the other side, getting extremely close to his minho. he turns back around and finds the boy in the center smirking, knowing the two boys had been surrounded.

'what are you going to do now twerp'

jisung's infuriated because he's outnumbered and because they've got minho surrounded. he can't do anything to help his hyung and he knows it; they're fucked. 

'i promise you this, if you lay one god damn hand on him-'

minho jumps and pushes into jisung, a muffled shriek pushing past his lips. he's putting his mouth against jisung's ear, whispering.

'ji, he grabbed my butt'

jisung only sees red, fuming that someone would put their hands on minho and touch him so violently and inappropriately.

'what are you gonna do about it string bean?'

he fumes as he turns and sees minho scooting away from the boy who's going in for another booty grab, already in motion with a stupid smirk on his face. jisung beats him to it though, grabbing his arm (before he can touch minho) and twisting until he hears a snap. he hears a loud cry in pain but he doesn't care, he drags the boy by his broken arm and yanks him to the ground (knocking the air right out of him). he throws a punch at two more boys and kicks a third in this groin before turning to the 'leader'.

'if i ever see you coming after him again i will find you and i will beat you'

the leader nods.

'and don't pull a fast one either. if you so much as look his way or think about him i won't hesitate to snap your neck.'

the leader gulps, gathering his troops and rounding them up to get them out of there.

'and if you even think about bothering him at school your ass is grass'

they all nod furiously, trying to get jisung to know that they won't bother minho for now before scurrying off as quickly as possible.

'hyung, i'm so sorry they-'

minho cuts jisung off, pulling him close and kissing him like his life depends on it; his hands lace into jisung's hair, jisung's fingers following minho's waist line.

'thank you ji'

_santa, can you hear me?_

they make it back to the room just in time for minho to take his shoes off and lay down on the bed (and curl into a ball). when minho falls asleep and he's left up playing with minho's hair he wonders.

_dear santa (aka mom and dad),_

_i'm really scared because who the hell is sooyoung anymore, like i don't care about her... i want one thing for christmas this year, i want minho to kiss me like he did today. i want him to do that everyday._

_is this how you two felt for each other? mom, please help me- i don't know what to do, but i think i like minho the way you like dad. please don't let dad read this, i don't want him to be upset with me._

_i know he wants for me to find  a really good girl to date, but i think i really like minho. i think i want to date him mom._

_oh and if you get a phone call from a concerned parent who's kid received a broken arm today, yeah it was my fault but the kid had it coming. he shouldn't have fucking grabbed minho's butt like he was a toy, minho deserves so much better than that. so ground me if you want, but i had to protect minho-_

_sincerely,_

_your goodest boy jisung_


	7. just for me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: mass shooting scare involved in this chapter

**21.12.14**

_he'll be all my own in a big red bow_

jisung gets in the passenger seat of minho's mom's car, minho in the driver seat with his newly achieved license and they're on their way to the mall for last minute christmas shopping they forgot to do. minho's driving them to the nearest mall, exhausted as the driving test had taken all he had out of himself, but he wanted to finally finish shopping for jisung he was the only person he hadn't bought for and well jisung went along for the ride.

he really loved spending time with minho so he jumped at the chance to spend time shopping with minho. and to make it even better minho was wearing a silver skirt and the white babygirl crop top and the glittery white sneakers he bought.

they're singing to mariah carey, jamming out in the car while jisung gives minho directions, trying to not get them lost. when he finally successfully directs minho to the mall's entrance and they find a parking spot (that just so happens to be on the complete other side of the mall because that's totally convenient) minho parks the car and jisung hops out.

jisung watches minho lock the car door and then he goes and grabs the elder's hand, lacing them together and walking towards the mall entrance. jisung holds the door open for minho, waiting for him to walk through the door. nobody stares at minho anymore, the looks of surprise long gone by now. 

they're walking towards one of the stores that sells cds, two-thirds of the way there when they see a herd of people running from the other side of the mall in a panic. one girl catches jisung's eye, she's got long black hair- curled in a beach wave. she wore dark blue jeans and a purple shirt with a gray jacket and a bag slung over her shoulder. there was a man next to her, whitewashed jeans, a blue shirt and a beige jacket. he screamed:

'he's got a gun, run, there's a gun!'

jisung could hear people begin to scream, wondering where their child was but all he could do was look for minho. he turned to look for minho and he saw it, the gun that was rumoured to be in the mall. he didn't see the guy, just the gun but that's all he needed to frantically search for minho who'd stopped because he saw a dog. jisung ran up to minho and grabbed his hand.

'baby we need to go, now'

'why, ji- does that man-'

'have a gun? yes he does, run'

minho immediately stands up and jisung grabs his hand and runs, the thought of the fear and panic in the girl's eyes ingrained in his mind. he squeezes minho's hand a little too tightly, but he needs to be sure minho's still there and with him. he can't lose minho.

they make it back out the front entrance but minho trips over the curb and drops his phone while running. he turns back and picks it up, but jisung waits for him.

'go ji, go'

'i'm not leaving you, hurry'

he watches minho pick up his phone and put his hand out for jisung to grab; he immediately does and runs, pulling minho along with him until the car's finally in sight. minho puts the key into the car door and unlocks the car, hopping in and unlocking the passenger door to let jisung in. jisung jumps in and locks his door, motioning for minho to do the same. 

he can hear the car start, and feel the gears shift so they're in drive. he tells minho to drive as quickly as possible and he listens, jisung calling his parents and hysterically telling them the news as they drive home. he can see minho shaking, so he takes his free hands and laces it with minho's trying to calm him down.

minho gives him a shaky smile, he hangs up while his parents frantically call the cops and find a way to head home as quickly as possible.

jisung can finally see the house and when they park in the driveway and minho turns the car off jisung crawls into his lap and sits down carefully. he can hear the shakiness in minho's breath and he can feel minho's hands violently shaking.

he immediately grabs minho's face, tears gliding down his cheeks as he pulls minho in for a gentle kiss on the lips. he can feel minho lean up and wrap his arms around his neck, choosing to pull minho's face closer and bite on his bottom lip. minho complies and he licks into minho's mouth. 

he can feel minho's hands in his hair, pulling him closer so he tries his hardest to scoot as close to minho as he possibly can. he does pull away at some point to breathe, but he dives right back in without caring that his parents are knocking on the car window or that minho's mom is on the other side telling him not to kiss her precious boy like that (but the smile on her face tells jisung she's just joking).

they do eventually pull away and get out of the car, jisung lacing his hand with minho's as they go inside and tell their parents what had happened.

_we'll be all the love under the mistletoe_

jisung can feel minho curling close to him, on the verge of sleep when he spits a quiet 'shit' under his breath.

'ji, i didn't get to buy your  present today, can we go back out-'

'no'

'but ji'

'no, we're not going back out there tomorrow'

'but your present-'

'baby we almost got shot'

'but your-'

'minho, you're still alive. that's the best present i could ever ask for. i don't need anything else this year'

'ji, thats so sweet, but-'

jisung shuts minho up with a kiss, a slow and gentle one that takes minho's breath away before pulling him closer and cuddling until they fall asleep

_dear mom and dad,_

_for christmas this year i don't want much, seeing as i had to fucking run out of the mall today as i was being chased i don't want to risk putting you in that situation._

_this year i just want to spend as much time with minho as i can because i could've lost him today and quite frankly i don't know what i would've done if he was shot. so i'm just really glad that he's okay._

_mom, for this christmas i want to find out my feelings for minho._

_dad, i'm sorry you had to find out that i was gay when i was like kissing minho in the car in the driveway. in my defense i was just really excited that minho didn't die so i kind of idk swooped in and got carried away._

_yeah. all i want for christmas is for minho to be healthy and happy and alive this year, that's my only wish._

_sincerely,_

_your goodest boy jisung_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and no, i didn't write it to be cool or hip or be funny. i'm not trying to gain unwanted attention from this, i literally just went through this today and writing calms me down, so i was hoping that if i wrote out what happened i'd be calmer (it's about six hours after the fact and i'm still shaking so it didn't really help, but then again i didn't have a minho to kiss it better for me). i hope you guys enjoy, and i hope and pray to god that you never have to run away from a man or woman holding a gun out and pointing it at people.


	8. underneath my christmas tree

**22.12.15**

_can't be alone under the mistletoe_

jisung sits up when minho shakes him awake gently, a small smile etched onto his soft features. he can't help but smile at the older (who leans in and kisses his cheek gently, maybe fluttering his lashes a little too much).

'jisung i want to go get snow cones'

jisung looks at minho up and down and tries to process what he's wearing. he has to do a quadruple take just to actually see what minho's wearing and when he does his jaw drops to the floor. minho's wearing a tight fitting dress, like very tight fitting, and it barely covers his butt. it's got off the shoulder sleeves, revealing his entire shoulder, he's also wearing white thigh highs and pastel blue platform shoes.

'okay minnie, let me change'

'yay, thanks so much'

minho cheers and jumps on the bed, tackling jisung and peppering kisses all over his face. he watches as minho scoots off the bed and runs to the bathroom, probably to use the makeup counter. he gets up and tries to find something that sort of matches minho's outfit in order to kind of give off the hint to back the fuck off his precious bean.

he pulls on some black jeans and finds a pink pastel sweater. he takes his shirt off and begins to put on the sweater, right arm swiftly going through the shirt sleeve.

'hey, ji do you-'

jisung turns around to find minho staring at him wide eyed, mouth agape and lipsticks in his hand. he raises his eyebrow in a teasing manor and steps closer to minho. minho begins to stutter, backing up and trying to get back into the bathroom but jisung is having none of it.

he walks closer to minho, stepping closer and closer until minho's back against the wall with nowhere to go; jisung pushes him closer to the wall, not letting him escape.

'sh-should i wear the red lipstick or-'

he can see minho glance down at his lips, and back up to his eyes before whispering.

'or the clear lipgloss'

he sees minho look down at his lips again and then at his half shirtless chest. he can see a hue coming from minho's cheeks and gently takes both of the lip products from minho's hands. on the one hand, the red would look stunning on minho's face, but on the other it wouldn't look stunning on his own and he knew he'd be kissing minho sometime today.

he can hear minho's breath hitch when he gets closer and he wonders why minho's always so short of breathe when they're so close but he assumes it's some medical condition he doesn't know about (yeah, the condition that causes minho's heart to leap in his chest, but jisung's too oblivious).

he leans in and places a light kiss to minho's lips, pulling away as quickly as he'd leaned in. his eyes flutter open in time to see minho chasing his lips, eyes closed and hands resting on his shoulders. jisung's heart jumps into his throat, but he leans in for another quick peck before pulling back and shoving the clear lip gloss in minho's face before he ended up going into cardiac arrest.

he puts his sweater on as minho puts on the lip gloss, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the door when they're both ready. they walk hand in hand down to the snow cone shop and jisung holds the door open for him, letting him walk in and get into the line.

jisung ends up paying for both of their snow cones, of course minho refused (already having the money out) and tried to get the cashier to take his money but jisung just pulled him back and back hugged him until he gave in and put his money away.

_he's all i want in a big red bow_

jisung finally notices the choker necklace when they get back home. he points it out and asks minho what it's all about. minho just laughs and pulls jisung up the stairs, dragging him into their bedroom and waiting for jisung to collapse on the bed.

he feels minho crawl on top of him and sit down in his lap facing him so he rests his back on the headboard and pulls minho closer.

'are you going to tell me now?'

'tell you what ji-'

'what this little necklace is and where you got it'

minho giggles, he actually giggles like he knows the choker's driving jisung insane. it's a small black choker, but it's got little bows you'd put on christmas presents all around it. 

'oh, this-'

jisung nods, and minho giggles again.

'i made it, do you like it'

'it looks cute'

minho gets shy all of a sudden and looks down, playing with the end of his dress. jisung pulls him closer and lifts his head up so they'd make eye contact, but minho just blushes and looks away as quickly as he can. 

'i-i made it for you'

'you what'

'there's something under the tree for you to, but-'

jisung's getting excited hoping, praying to every god there was that minho said what he wanted him to.

'but?'

'but, surprise!'

minho opens his arms really wide, looking down and gnawing on his lip. jisung's worried, why is he gnawing on his lip like he has something to worry about. he has nothing to-

'i'm your present this year.'

jisung visibly freezes all movement, looking at minho in shock but pulling him in for a hug and laughing the shock off as quickly as he could. he pulls minho in by his cheeks and kisses him until he can't breathe. he stops long enough to take a few deep breaths, but dives right back in again.

and maybe there were a few purple marks littering minho's neck near the choker, but nobody needed to know who'd done it.

_dear mom and dad,_

_i'm a mess._

_i'm a complete and utter mess, i don't have any clue what's going on anymore all i know is that minho's laugh is the most beautiful sound i have ever heard in this world._

_we went out for snow cones today and he looked so precious, i just. wow. i really wanted it to be a date, but minho's 17 and i'm only 15 and like minho would never go for the minor- he would never. he probably likes someone at school. ugh._

_anyway, we went out for snow cones and maybe i kissed him a little._

_but when we got home he said that he was my christmas present this year and so i kissed him a lot and like, don't ask about the marks on his neck, he got hit by uh a car- yes that's what happened. it totally wasn't me pffft gdi car why you gotta softly hit minho like that_

_hehehheh-_

_sincerely,_

_your goodest and gayest boy jisung_


	9. i'll be waiting here

**23.12.16**

_i hope my letter reaches you in time_

jisung thought it would be easier to win minho's heart since he was in high school now, he's in his second year so he had a sliver of hope that minho would stop seeing him as a kid friend (or a childhood friend/brother). he had high hopes, but boy did they come crashing down two weeks ago.

minho had come into the house (wearing his usual school outfit, jeans and a tee shirt) with a huge smile on his face, growing ever since he'd walked through the door. when jisung had asked him why he was so smiley, he responded with 'chan asked me on a date'.

jisung congratulated him and told him he'd help him get ready, pick out clothes and makeup and shoes and tell him how to behave. he wasn't happy, not one bit, but he couldn't really do anything about it. two days later he finds himself in minho's closet searching for some clothes that would fit a movie date, but not be girl's clothes.

twenty minutes later and jisung finds ripped jeans and a black tee shirt and takes it to minho. minho thanks him with a kiss on the cheek and hops into the clothes before shoving converse onto his feet and styling his hair (and of course, a man needs his eye liner). he leaves shortly after when chan beeps his horn notifying them both that he's here to pick minho up.

-

jisung watches tv emotionless, pretending he's sitting next to minho in that movie theater. he's been at this for a good and solid two hours now so he's not shocked when he sees the headlights of chan's car shine through the driveway, chan choosing to walk minho up the walkway.

jisung does shutter when chan leans in and minho follows suit, cheeks heating up but pecking him on the lips quickly and walking in the door. jisung fumes, nobody should be able to touch minho like that besides him- nobody should kiss minho like that but him.

minho walks into the house and tells jisung that chan's asked minho to be his boyfriend (and that he said yes). jisung congratulates him  halfheartedly, a few tears spewing out when minho leaves the room. he eventually goes upstairs and falls asleep next to minho, keeping his hands to himself because he's no homewrecker.

_bring me love i can call mine_

jisung's extremely patient, and he's let so many things slide but this is definitely not one of them. he's furious, maybe it's not rightfully so but he doesn't care. he's livid, past the point of no return and it's all because of them.

he's dealt with so much, watched minho and chan do so many things together and kept his mouth shut. he's seen them holding hands at school and feeding each other and for god's sakes jisung's seen chan push minho against the nearest set of lockers and kiss him like his life was going to end (which was unnecessary if you'd asked him what he thought). he's seen chan try to play tonsil hockey and minho flinch, trying to get chan to slow down and be gentler (you wouldn't have to worry if it was me- shut up jisung, let him be happy).

so in conclusion, he's put up with a lot of things, but walking into  _his_  room and seeing chan on  _his_  bed cuddling  _his_  minho was quite possibly the most atrocious thing he's ever seen. who does bang chan think he is because he's most certainly not the king of this castle. this house belongs to jisung's parents, this room belongs to jisung. 

jisung is about to leave, but then something catches his attention. minho's wearing that choker necklace with the bows on it, and he hears the exact same thing minho told him last year. 'i'm your present this year', except this time minho looked chan dead in the eyes and never once looked away. there were hickeys littering  _his_  minho's neck, given to him probably by chan and jisung didn't like it one bit.

he had to walk out of the room, tears streaming down his face ad he walks to the hall closet and grabs a pillow and blanket because you'd be damned if you thought he'd sleep in that bed without the bedding washed after chan leaves.

cause i have been so good, so good this year

jisung's sitting on the couch watching spongebob when minho's mom comes into the room.

'jisung, honey-'

'yes ma'am'

'green suits you, you should wear it more'

jisung flushes bright in embarrassment, not knowing what to say about getting caught being jealous of chan. minho's mom sits down next to jisung, pulling him in a hug and starting to speak up.

'honey, i know you're worried about him and his decision'

'mrs. lee-'

'i know you think chan isn't good enough for him'

'i-'

'yeah, i know. i don't like the chan boy either' 

'you don't-'

'no, my boy deserves way better than that, but just because you want minho to find the right person doesn't mean you get to glare at chan every given second'

'i know, but at the end of the day, if chan makes minho happy then that's all that matters. minho's happiness comes before everything else.'

'jisung?'

'mrs. lee'

minho's mom looks at jisung, tears threatening to spill over her eyes and fall freely.

'i need to ask you something'

'okay'

'answer honestly'

'okay'

'you're in love with my son aren't you'

'i- yes'

_mom and dad,_

_minho's mom found me being jealous of chan. and she's right i have no right to be mad at chan for taking minho away and taking all of his time and money. i still don't like the chan guy. but minho deserves to be happy._

_this year for christmas i just want minho to be 100% happy and if being with chan makes him feel like that then i hope he stays with that little piece of shit._

_also minho's mother asked me if i loved him and i said yes. please help me, i need to try to get over these feelings i have for minho because chan and minho look like they're going to last long and all i can do is pray that minho stops finding him so 'dreamy'_

_sincerely,_

_your goodest and saddest boy_


	10. santa, that's my only wish this year

**24.12.17**

_christmas eve, i just can't sleep_

jisung sits on the couch of the living room, anxious because minho told him he was showing chan his closet today. jisung was nervous, yeah it's been a year but he didn't know if chan was going to accept minho for the clothes he wore. he was scared. was he going to get all of his friends to gang up on minho?

it's happened to minho once before and jisung can't just beat the shit out of chan because that's minho's boyfriend and he can't break his arm because minho says he's had his arm broken before by an asshole in some fight when he was younger.

and yeah, his arm does look a little crooked so jisung's not going to break his arm for a second time-

wait-

jisung thinks back, but no he can't be the one. he's beginning to go crazy. chan can't be the one that did that-

but the more he thinks about it the more it clicks into place. the way he wraps his arm around minho's waist instead of holding his hand (arms going a little too low to be considered okay, especially if minho looked uncomfortable). the way he kisses minho and tries to go too far.

he thinks back trying to remember the face, and he seethes. he's boiling thinking about it. he marches right up to his room and swings the door open to find chan staring at minho hungrily (minho wears the same pink overall skirt and crop top jisung bought him for christmas, because it was his favourite and he was sad when he grew out of it so jisung kept buying him the sizes he needed when he grew out of his clothes).

he assumes chan's accepted minho for the clothes, but jisung doesn't care. he marches right into his room and pushes chan away from minho as quickly as he can. 

'get out of my goddamn house you disgusting piece of shit'

ji, what-'

'no, i'm here for minho.'

'i don't fucking care, get the fuck out'

chan looks at minho, eyes pleading for him to fight jisung and let him stay. he can see minho hesitate, but minho does follow through.

'ji, what is this about'

'i was downstairs thinking about what you said about chan-'

'what-'

'about how you said if he did break your heart i couldn't break his arm because it was broken once'

'ye-'

'minho, he said in front of us both that i was the one who broke his arm'

'yeah, and i still want to know why you did'

jisung can see chan visibly begin to sweat, thinking he's been had. 

_yeah, bitch, i'm onto you_

'minho'

'ji, why are you so suddenly coming to me with this'

'minho, i told you i kept thinking he was accusing me because i wouldn't just break anyone's arm without reason'

he pauses, taking a deep breath and looking chan dead in the eyes.

'minho, i've only broken one person's arm in my entire life and yes, it was chan's'

'jisung, what the fuck. when-'

'minho, think about it, you were there.'

'what do you mean i was- oh my god'

he can see minho's face when he comes to the same realization he had just five minutes ago. minho goes to launch at chan, screaming at him to leave and never come back but jisung steps between and wraps his arms around minho, and pushes him away from chan, minho walking backwards and still cussing the 'pervert' out until he finally leaves.

when everything's calmed down and minho's off of his "i'm going to follow chan and break his damn arm again and i fucking hope it hurts just as badly the second time" rant jisung pulls him onto their shared bed and cuddles with him, pulling him closer and relaxing as much as he can since he can cuddle minho again.

he'd been sleeping on the couch for the past year because he refused to share the bed with minho while he was dating another man, it wasn't right and he wasn't a homewrecker so he took to the couch. his parents told him he was an idiot and that he should've made minho sleep on the couch, but he couldn't- minho got the bed at all costs (even if he woke up in the middle of the night most nights with minho laying on top of him on the couch, cuddling close- he never said he was successful at not sleeping next to minho, he just said he refused to share the bed with him).

'ji-'

'hm?'

minho turns his face to make eye contact, looking away almost immediately after ( _why does he always do that- why could he look at chan and not me_ ). he scoots closer to jisung, pushing him back against the headboard and crawling into his lap, jisung's hands immediately grabbing his waist.

'how'd you find out?'

'about chan?'

'mhm'

'his bracelet, i remember it cutting my hand when i broke his arm'

'ah, the bracelet'

'as soon as i saw that bracelet everything clicked into place'

'well if you think about it, the boy who touched my butt had curly hair and i watched chan straighten his hair for the past year'

'i knew from the very beginning i didn't like that boy'

'why didn't you tell me you didn't like him'

'you were happy and i didn't want to ruin that'

'i-'

jisung can feel minho cup his face and sees him leaning down, eyes fluttering shut so he meets him half way. it's only a quick peck on the lips at first, minho pulling away and looking at jisung and then leaning back in for a longer, slower kiss. minho tilts his head slightly and nibbles on jisung's bottom lip, jisung complying and hitting his head on the headboard. minho makes a sound in shock and begins to pull away, but jisung just pulls him closer, mouthing an 'i'm okay' and continuing where they left off.

minho giggles into the kiss and finally pulls away leaning into jisung's touch, cuddling up to him. jisung has three words on the tip of his tongue but he pushes them down because this isn't the best time to say them so he replaces the middle word.

'i missed you'

'awe, ji- i didn't go anywhere and we both know that i snuck onto the couch with you every night. i still don't understand why you didn't just come into the bed after a while-'

'two people sleeping in a bed together insinuates that they're dating, with the exception of us, and you have a boyfriend so i refuse to be a homewrecker and ruin that'

'so, i have a question then'

'shoot'

'can we sleep here tonight'

'minho, you have a boyfriend-'

'we both know i'm breaking up with him tomorrow-'

'fine, this one time'

'yay!'

minho pecks him on the lips one more time before turning on the tv and flipping to the hallmark channel, the movie 'elf' playing on the screen.

'happy christmas eve eve ji-'

'happy christmas eve eve baby'

maybe he did catch minho's blush and the way his lightly bit his lower lip to stop from smiling, but nobody needed to know that. 

_would i be wrong for taking a peak?_

when jisung wakes up minho's already gone. all that's left is a note in his wake that reads:

_ji,_

_i went to school early so i could break up with chan without a big crowd. i still made you breakfast though, it's in the fridge~ happy christmas eve ji!_

_minnie <3_

he smiles and gets dressed, putting on his white washed jeans and hoodie, slipping on his vans and heading downstairs to eat what minho made him. he opens the fridge to find waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. he squeals a little bit and digs right in, the waffles still hot meaning he'd left recently.

he washes his dish, minho being a saint and cleaning up after himself before going to school (he promised himself he was going to marry that boy one day), and heads out to school. he puts in his headphones and walks to school, the cool, crisp december air fanning out across his face harshly making him pick up the pace.

when he makes it to school the hallways are eerily quiet, everyone staring in one direction with their eyes wide open. he's trying to look to find out what everyone's staring at, but before he can look his eyes are covered and minho's whispering 'ji' in his ears.

'minho, why are you covering my eyes?'

'because of my outfit, it's a surprise. but also we're matching, we're goals jisungie'

'oh my god, why are you like this-'

'you love me'

'sometimes i wonder why i do'

_more than you think buddy friend pal, more than you think._

minho uncovers his eyes and steps in front of him, eyes finding the floor to be extremely interesting all of a sudden. jisung looks at what he's wearing and he's stunned into silence, looking at minho like he was the masterpiece he truly deserved to be called.

minho wore a cropped hoodie that was maroon and this cute leather skirt with laced up high heeled boots and for the love of god jisung wanted to kiss him so badly. he gently lifts minho's head up so they're making eye contact, minho looking away quickly.

'minnie, why do you keep looking away'

'i don't want to see your reactions'

'what-'

'i don't want to see your reactions, they're probably always bad'

jisung lifts minho's head again with his index finger and waits for minho to look at him, but he doesn't. he looks right back at the floor so jisung takes things into his own hands. he lifts minho's chin up one last time, but instead of waiting for minho to look at him he leans down and gently kisses him. he can hear minho's small gasp when he pecks his lips and pulls away, but he chooses to keep his face close to minho's.

he feels minho wrap his arms around his neck so he leans in again and goes in for another kiss, longer this time. his arms find their way to minho's waist and pull him closer, tilting his head and nibbling on minho's lips (licking into his mouth when minho, a little too enthusiastically, complies). he tries something new, tapping minho's thigh lightly. minho pulls away immediately.

'ji, i can't fucking jump in heels-'

'i'll catch you don't worry'

'i'm trusting you ji-'

jisung places his hands on minho's thighs as he jumps up and wraps his legs around jisung's waist. he can hear minho laugh in disbelief, a small 'i can't believe chan dropped me' coming from his lips. jisung smirks and leans in close to minho's ear.

'i'm not chan baby'

'i- you weren't supposed to-'

'unlike him i'm boyfriend material'

'ji-'

minho looks at him in the eyes for the first time in the entire nine years he's known him, eyes wide and cheeked tinted pink. he can feel minho's hands in his hair, tugging lightly, a small giggle escaping his lips.

'you have to want to be my boyfriend in order to be boyfriend material ji'

'bold of you to assume i haven't been trying for the past five years'

'ji-'

he can see tears forming in minho's eyes, a small smile gracing his lips.

'why- why didn't you tell me'

he sounds exasperated, and a little overjoyed but happy nonetheless.

'i was scared'

'of what'

'of you saying no'

'ji i've been in love with you since the december 16, 2009'

'minho that was the day we met-'

'take the fucking hint'

'you've been in love with me since the first day you met me-'

'yes you oblivious asshole'

'i- so does that mean you'll be my boyfriend' 

'shut up and kiss me- boyfriend'

jisung giggles and pulls minho in for another kiss, pulling him closer and complying when minho swipes his tongue against his bottom lip. he pulls away when he hears a bunch of whispers and he's met with a pissed off bang chan who does nothing because he doesn't want his good arm broken.

_mom and dad,_

_all i have to say is one name:_

_minho_

_love your gayest (and goodest) boy jisung_


	11. that's my only wish this year

**25.12.18**

_i really hope that you're on your way_

jisung holds his breath, not sure if he should be anxious for minho to open his present or not. everyone's opened all of their presents, this present being the last present minho opens. everyone else knows what the present is and thinks it's the cutest present yet (and they all support his decision), but he's still worried about how minho is going to react.

he hands minho the present anyway, telling him it's the last thing he has to open before he gets up (in his cute little christmas dress mind you). he jokes with jisung and asks why it wasn't under the tree, wiggling his eye brows suggestively (only if he knew what the gift was).

'i had to make sure that's the one you opened last.'

'oh, well okay. here i go'

minho carefully takes the wrapping off of the present to reveal a small, black box. he looks at it puzzled, trying to figure out what could lay inside the box, but becoming more and more puzzled as the time passes.

'baby, open the box instead of just staring at it'

minho blinks a couple of times, huffing and telling jisung that opening presents takes time and effort and that he shouldn't be rushed or else he'd get up and leave without finishing. jisung laughed and put his hands up in fake surrender before quietly nibbling on his finger nails and waiting for minho to open the box.

he knew the box was empty and he knew minho's face was going to screw up in confusion, he was already well aware of what was going to happen, but he was still so nervous because he didn't know what was going to come after that, he was kind of winging it and he needed help but his father refused to look at him.

_fuck, i guess i gotta do this alone._

minho finally opens the box slowly and very carefully. he looks inside and jisung can see the confusion on his face when he opens it to find nothing, and he has to hold back the urge to kiss his pout away.

(here goes)

_with something special for me in your sleigh_

he pulls the black box out of his pocket, his parents and minho's mom scooting closer almost instinctively (his mother pulling out a camera and recording).

he slides to the floor on one knee, opening the box and waiting for minho to look at him. he watches as minho looks to the spot he used to be in, face twisting in confusion when he sees him missing so he looks around the room. his heart is hammering so loudly that he thinks it's going to fall out, waiting for minho to finally look at him.

minho finally makes eye contact with him and gasps, eyes immediately welling up with tears when he finds jisung on the floor (on one knee to be exact). jisung takes one last breath before he dives right in.

'minho-'

he can hear minho trying to calm his breathing, but failing to do so and responding with a shaky 'yes'.

'i know this is quite sudden, but i've come to the conclusion that yeah i may be only 18, you being only 20 and maybe we are really young.'

he takes a breather. trying to form his next thought into a coherent sentence.

'and i know that we've only been together for a year, but honestly if you count all that we've been through together over the past ten years i think this is long overdue because you make me the happiest i've ever been and the happiest i'll ever be.'

minho wipes his tears and scoots closer.

'i've bought you a snow cone when you were eleven, lent you my house when you were thirteen, broke some assholes arm for harassing you when you were fifteen, pulled you out of a mall with a shooter when you were sixteen, and then got really jealous of your asshole boyfriend when you were seventeen who ended up being the asshole who harassed you when you were fifteen-'

he can hear minho's giggle loud and clear, tears swiftly running down the side of his cheeks rapidly.

'we've been through more in the past ten years than most couples our age will go through in their life time and i'm lucky to have gone through it with you. i'm in love with you minho and if my goddamn emotions would've let me figure that out sooner i promise i wouldn't have made you wait as long as you did-'

minho laughs loudly at that one, wiping his tears and smiling widely at jisung.

'and i want to spend everyday waking up next to you for the rest of my life. i want us to move out of this house and get one together, adopt cats and dogs and maybe kids some day in the distant future if you want to.'

jisung sees minho wiping at his tears excessively.

'but, i guess what i'm trying to say is-'

he sees minho slide off the couch and land in his lap, wrapping his legs around his waist and pulling him in for a salty kiss.

'finish your question ji'

'will you marry me minho?'

minho breaks into sobs, the loud ugly sob (but like minho could never be ugly).

'of course ji.'

jisung slips the ring on minhos finger and pulls him in for another heavily loaded kiss.

_dear santa,_

_i don't want anything for christmas because i've gotten what i've been asking for for the past ten years so thanks big guy for looking out for me_

_love,_

_your goodest and engaged boy jisung_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it- the end of our journey friendos~ thanks to those of you who read this. 
> 
> if you have any comments or if you want to request a ship (because i do those even though i don't ever get requests) you can reach me at your local twt account @joneinyourarea and on instagram @joneinyourarea
> 
> but also pls don't my account is literally trash and i have 0 followers i just want friends-


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